OMG! I can't believe I haven't blogged for so long. I'm such a slacker! hehe. So this blog started out as a personal blog and then it kind of took a turn towards more professional (not on purpose) but since everyone who reads my blog is probably a friend or family member, I am just going to be okay with sharing about my personal life again, even if it's not all rainbows and gumdrops. And you'll either like it or hate it. If you're here just to see photos skip the text. whatevs!
I've just really worked hard at being okay with who I am and also at being completely open in my life. I feel like my blog gets to reflect that. And I realized that I haven't been doing that as much lately. Maybe that is why I stopped blogging as much.
Here it goes! Honestly, I went through a kind of "depression" for a couple of weeks. Of course I wasn't really depressed! But it was as depressed as I get, which is maybe more like some people's bad days but for two weeks? I don't know! I didn't want to do anything and the things that normally make me feel passionate and excited just seemed dull and lifeless. I felt empty inside. I am usually a pretty up beat person. I really had a hard time being okay with feeling down. So in an attempt to pull myself out of it I have been making some shifts in my life lately. Not really anything spectacular or that anyone else could probably notice... But I've noticed a difference in myself.
If you don't know me super well, you will.... So here are some things I have been doing that have worked:
Serving others: Apparently the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself serving others... or something like that.... hahahah! I just know that as I serve others I stop being so inward focused and my pathetic troubles don't seem so bad. So I set out praying everyday for opportunities to serve others and that I would recognize them and act. It was hard, the first week, to look outside of myself and see those opportunities, but I was determined dang it! And it totally worked! Although there were times when a simple act of service turned out to be way more of a hassle and I may have felt a tiny bit annoyed for a minute.... hahahaha! I am glad I did them.
Gratitude: Anytime I feel sorry for myself all I have to do is think of the things I am grateful for. No matter what crap is happening in your life there is always something to be grateful. My
first list of many recent lists. It's a shorty but a goody.
"And the good news is...": what's the good news? Finding the good news and finding the lessons to be learned. I am determined to learn something whenever I have something painful happen in my life. I know that if I don't learn it from that experience that I will have another opportunity to learn it later. And I choose to learn the first time!
Positive thinking and positive energy: I've just been trying to put out some positive energy by shifting my thoughts. This week my mantra just so happens to be "All is well. I let go of what goes. Divine restoration is now taking place." I have learned enough about myself to know that I have some core beliefs that are not true. When I feel rejection or whatever I have this tendency to look for ways to support these beliefs that are not serving me. So I get to be very conscious of my thoughts and the energy that I am putting out. When I think one of these negative beliefs, "what if I was not enough" or "what if I will never be enough" I get to remind myself that I am enough and I am worthy and I deserve to be with someone that values and appreciates me for the amazing woman that I am.
yikes! this is getting deep....
Being outside: spending time outside always rejuvenates me. I was going to start P90x but after one week I realized I need to be outside. I need sunlight, and I need fresh air and I need to take in the world around me. So I took my workouts outside and started running again.
Taking care of my body: With the suggestion of my dear friend,
Kristina, I started making green smoothies from the
Green Smoothie Diet every morning. And I'm pretty much in love... The smoothies are so good I could drink one for every meal! But I can't because I have a kid to feed! And I've been doing Yoga three times a week. I feel so great!
And an added perk, my skin seems to have cleared up. not sure if it's just the smoothies, or the positive energy, or the fact that I have let all the things that usually stress me out fall to the wayside or what... maybe it's a combination of all of the above. And since my attempted week one of P90x I have lost 8 pounds.
This post turned out to be completely different than what I intended to write tonight. So here is a lonely picture to go with this weird and very honest post. But I like it. I really like it.
Shot on Fujicolor Pro 400H. Film makes my heart sing.
